Last week I wrote about the definition of masculinity in our culture, some of the effects our cultural definition of manhood has had men in general, and said that things needed to change. So this week I am going to write down some of my thoughts about what really makes a man a man. My one caveat here is that these should be read as personal thoughts, not professional opinion. I have not spent much time researching, but I have spent a good deal of time thinking about what healthy masculinity could look like. So without further ado, here you go:
Men are not necessarily defined by strength of body, but by strength of character.
Men are not necessarily defined by assertiveness of self, but by assertiveness against injustice.
Men are not necessarily defined by their ability to fight, but by their ability to protect their loved ones.
Men are not necessarily defined by their lack of emotional expressiveness, but by their ability to express emotions appropriately with safe people.
Men are not necessarily defined by the size of their paycheck, but by the ways in which they earn their paycheck (i.e. hard work, dedication, ethics, etc.).
Men are not necessarily defined by their ability to climb social ladders, but by their ability to withstand and overcome adversity.
Men are not necessarily defined by their skill in fathering children, but by their ability to raise and love emotionally healthy children.
Men are not necessarily defined by their so-called masculine feats, but by their ability to be comfortable with their masculinity no matter their personality and skill sets.
This is my list for now, I am sure as I do more research and thinking around this subject the list will change and grow. Please feel free to leave comments with your thoughts and suggestions.